The Hypocrisy of Words

How Speech Can Mask True Feelings and Reveal Character

In many Muslim communities, outward gestures of respect — taʿrūf in Arab-Persian contexts, taqaluf in Pakistan — are often offered as formalities rather than genuine appreciation. People may speak politely, offer blessings, or perform ritualized gestures, yet when intention is absent, words become hollow. Too often, empty taʿrūf or taqaluf is framed as “respect” (iḥtirām), yet it undermines the dignity of the recipient, treating them as if blind to the speaker’s true motives.

A common example occurs when someone offers verbal blessings — “my dear, may Allah bless you” — but ignores the main context of the conversation. They may fail to answer questions, tactically avoid sharing their own opinion, or sidestep meaningful engagement. The recipient is forced to respond with mamnoonam or “thank you,” repeat acknowledgments, or navigate repeated social formalities. What should be a sincere exchange becomes a time-consuming performance, exhausting words, attention, and spiritual energy.

Sometimes, these hollow gestures are paired with subtle, almost imperceptible cues: sinister smiles with nearly blank expressions, eyes never leaving yours. The smile or nod appears polite, even warm, but the fixed gaze and blank expression reveal underlying emptiness or manipulation. Such behavior exposes the tension between appearance and sincerity.

Islam emphasizes that ethical intention must guide both word and action. The Qur’an reminds us: “Indeed, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and deeds” (Surah Al-Hujurat 49:13, paraphrased). The Prophet ﷺ said: “Actions are judged by intentions” (Hadith, Sahih Bukhari). Imam Ja’far al-Sadiq (عليه السلام) taught: “The tongue speaks from what fills the heart” (Al-Kafi, Vol. 2). When the heart is sincere, words, tone, and gestures reflect truth naturally; when it is lacking, speech becomes theatrical or manipulative.

An illustrative example from the Ahlul Bayt (عليهم السلام) shows Imam Muhammad al-Baqir (عليه السلام) observing his father, Imam Zayn al-ʿAbidin (عليه السلام), being accompanied home. Imam Baqir asked why he did not invite the guest in. The Imam replied, “Because my heart did not want to.” This demonstrates that ethical and sincere action cannot be faked; gestures and words are meaningful only when aligned with genuine intention.

A sincere voice is calm, stable, and matter-of-fact, resonating naturally without theatrics or exaggeration. One attuned to authenticity can immediately perceive the difference between performative speech and heart-centered sincerity. True respect  -Iḥtirām — uplifts, illuminates hearts, nurtures community, and reflects the inner light of faith. Anything less — hollow words, sinister smiles, or performative gestures — is merely a shadow of Islam’s ethical principles.

---